Glasgow 4: The "Snobbish" Rival City

My trip through Glasgow’s rival city, Edinburgh, ended up being far too short. I flew into and out of Edinburgh because it was significantly cheaper with Ryanair. But the non-monetary cost of Ryanair is a limited selection of travel dates and times. I initially booked a flight that would arrive in Edinburgh on Friday (26 May) around 6:30pm and then booked a train to Glasgow that departed around 7:30pm. However, Ryanair moved the flight, putting me in Edinburgh much earlier at 11:00am. To fill the time, I booked a 90-minute tour of Edinburgh Castle at 1:30pm and then planned to explore High Street. I also wasn’t too thrilled with navigating Glasgow for the first time near dusk by myself, so I moved my Glasgow train departure up to 5:30pm.

I know Europe is much more pedestrian/bicycle friendly and accessible via public transport… but ya’ll… Edinburgh has it down. When I exited Edinburgh airport, my transport options ran the full gambit: bus, tram, taxi, rental car, hotel/parking garage shuttles, and of course the usual pickup/drop-off lanes. Everything had its own very clearly labeled section, was color-coded, and had arrows painted on the sidewalks indicating the direction of foot-traffic for both departure and arrival pedestrians (take some notes, Romania!). It was so easy. I settled on the tram because it took me to the city center in about 30 minutes with an open-ended return ticket that could be used from any tram stop for only £9.50 ($12). A one-way Uber or taxi ride would have cost about £20 ($25); it was a financial no-brainer.

I got off the tram at Haymarket. I had set my eye on eating lunch at an interesting little brunch/lunch establishment called The Painted Rooster. The place was advertised as being in a snug little basement with quirky décor and amazing breakfast food, including several haggis dishes (spoiler… it’s traditionally minced & seasoned sheep organs, usually liver/heart/lungs, cooked in a sheep stomach pouch). I’ll never say no to a good hot breakfast and was feeling food-venturous. Eating parts of the digestive system are usually not my thing, but… when in Scotland, right?

The Painted Rooster was about a 10-minute walk from Haymarket station, and it fully delivered everything it promised. My table was tucked in a cozy corner with pillows on a bench seat. There were shiplap walls with books on floating shelves or cut up and hung in different directions, some of them affixed straight to the wall. There were string lights on the ceiling and a quirky-but-cute chicken theme throughout.

I ordered an egg and haggis benedict, which was two poached eggs, each on a slice of haggis atop a hashbrown, all covered in hollandaise. The haggis was good, it fell apart more easily than I imagined but it went well with the eggs. At this point it was nearly 1:00pm and I still needed to walk 20 minutes to get to my tour meeting point on High Street, so I quickly paid and started what I later realized was my work out for the day.

The name High Street in Scotland is common and literal. It is the highest street in the town or city. In Edinburgh this means a 300-400 foot climb, predominately by stairs through one of many narrow alleys called a “close”. The highest point of the Edinburgh Castle grounds is 433 feet above sea level. after climbing up a decent hill, the ol’ Google Maps took me up to High Street through Advocate’s Close. Basic math for climbing about 250 feet in elevation using a 6-inch rise per step equates to about 500 stairs. Keep in mind, I didn’t have a hotel to store my luggage, so I had my large travel backpack on that weighed about 18 lbs. It was no full Army ruck, but it was enough for my Fitbit to register a short cardio workout. I made it to the meeting point by St. Giles Cathedral with about five minutes to spare.

Our tour guide was Julie, an Edinburgh native. She lived abroad for many years before returning to her hometown and falling back in love with it. She was humorous in her honesty, passionate about history, and proud to be from Edinburgh; although she self-admitted to being the more “snobbish” city compared to Glasgow. Unlike Glasgow, they were not bombed during WWII because their economy has always been based on, as Julie put it, “the four B’s… banks, books, beer, and biscuits.” Edinburgh was never critical to the industrial and logistical war effort like Glasgow.

We made our way up to the castle and Julie pointed out the different sections and areas of special interest while giving us a lightning-fast Scottish history lesson. Some highlights:

• High Street is also known as The Royal Mile. It was literally the road royalty traversed to get from Edinburgh Castle to Holyrood Palace below. It consists of five sub streets from west to east: Castlehill, the Lawnmarket, the High Street, the Canongate, and Abbey Strand.

• The castle has structures from every century between the 12th and 20th centuries.

• It was besieged 23 times in it's history but was only breached three times. All three of those were instances of treachery (inside job). The Latin phrase "Nemo me impune lacessit" above the gate translates as "No one provokes me with impunity"... which is the medieval version of "come at me bro".

• The oldest structure is St. Margaret’s Chapel, a tiny place of royal worship built around 1130. At roughly 893 years old, it is also the oldest structure in all of Edinburgh.

• There is still an active duty Scottish regiment of roughly 300 soldiers (part of the British Army) that is assigned to Edinburgh Castle.

• It once housed prisoners of war, including American, French, and Spanish POWs from the Revolutionary War.

• The unicorn is presently Scotland’s national animal and has appeared on the Scottish coat of arms in some fashion since the 12th century for its purity, healing power, and strength. It was thought to be the only creature that could defeat a bear, lion, and tiger. It always has a golden horn and is depicted wrapped in a golden chain to demonstrate it’s a savage beast that shouldn’t be messed with lightly.

• Queen Victoria didn’t think Edinburgh Castle looked “medieval enough” when she visited. So she ordered cannons be added to the ramparts. They sit there today and have never functioned. They know this because the cannons have never had brakes on them. Firing them would kill the operator.

• Mons Meg, one of the largest cannons in the world (510mm/20 in caliber), sits outside of St. Margaret’s Chapel. It was a wedding present to James II in 1454. It was a functioning cannon until 1680 and fired cannonballs that weighed 386lbs.

• The castle walls contain an event hall that has hosted several State dinners (including one for Mikhail Gorbachev), a massive memorial for all Scottish wars, and the Scottish crown jewels (duh).

Edinburgh Castle entrance.

Nemo me impune lacessit

Portcullis

War Memorial

Scottish Crown Jewels

Scottish Crest

St. Margaret's Chapel

St. Margaret's Chapel

St. Margaret

St. Margaret's altar.

Mons Meg

Queen Victoria's cannons

View of Edinburgh

I didn’t even get close to seeing everything within the castle; it’s really a full-day activity. I just got too tired and sore from walking around and decided to do some souvenir shopping around High Street before heading to the train station for Glasgow.

When I got back to Edinburgh on Monday (29 May), I only had about two hours before I needed to catch a tram back to the airport. I perused High Street, but not much was open prior to 10:00am. I decided to catch brunch at another interesting breakfast/lunch restaurant called the Duck & Waffle. This place offered quirkiness, but in an over-the-top, ultra-colorful way that was uniquely upscale and stopped a nanometer shy of tacky. The kitchen and service were on point. I had an egg Florentine benedict but the traditional English muffin was replaced with a waffle. The eggs were poached to perfection, and it was the best hollandaise sauce I’ve ever eaten in my life; the waffle’s slight sweetness balanced it all perfectly.

Around 10:45am I made my way to St. Andrew’s Square and caught a tram back to the airport. Ryanair baggage drop was a little bit rough, but Edinburgh airport security once again delivered peak order to chaos. There were tension barriers that forced people into a tightly snaked line (maximum space efficiency!) and then a security official directed people to a specific numbered line. The numbered lines each had six color-coded and divided stations for people to stop (like, really stop, not the awkward shuffle forward and multi-task thing) and pull out liquids/laptops, take off belts/jackets, and place them all in a big plastic bin. The conveyer belt for the x-ray machine stretched along the entire backside of the color-coded stations, so once people where done with their security prep, all they had to do was push their bins and bags forward from their prep table to the conveyer belt behind it. Once their stuff was on the conveyer, they would proceed to the metal detector. This allowed people who were in a rush or more seasoned travelers to get through security faster than people who took their time, needed assistance, or had kids/strollers to wrangle. It was a truly brilliant airport security setup.

Overall, I was disappointed to be leaving Scotland… something that rarely happens to me when I travel. The only close second in all my travels was Ireland, but I never felt the desire to go back like I did with Scotland. The people were nice and hospitable, the architecture was amazing, and it’s steeped in history. The next time I’m in Scotland (when, not if!), I need to spend more time in Edinburgh and would love to return to Glasgow.

Fun closing fact: While the movie Braveheart is far from accurate, William Wallace was captured on 5 August 1305 near Glasgow before being transported to London and martyred.

Tango Sierra out!